Wisdom and Impulse: A Coffee Conundrum
By Charles B. French
Based on an idea from
The Well
We are often pulled in
opposite directions. Our wisdom pulls us one way while our impulses another.
Sometimes even the wisest of us can fall prey to these impulses. These four
quick and humorous vignettes explore this conflict.
Reference Verse: Proverbs 3:21
Characters:
Wisdom – Very
calm and wise, has a soft spot for Impulse.
Impulse – Always
acting on emotion and what feels right, never stopping to think about what
could go wrong
This is loosely based
on the old Mac and PC commercials.
Scene I –
“Regular”
Wisdom: Hi, I'm Wisdom.
Impulse: And I'm Impulse,
and I don’t mean the superhero by that name. Just so you know. Not a superhero.
Wisdom: Thanks
for the clarification. Hey, you want some coffee? I've got both regular and
decaf.
Impulse: Clearly
the choice is decaf. It's obvious, really.
Wisdom: I don't
follow.
Impulse: Regular
comes from the Latin, Reg, referring to the Roman general Regulus who was afraid
of chickens.
Wisdom: I don't
see your...
Impulse: (interrupts) It's simple. If I drink
regular, then I fear chickens.
Wisdom: Wow,
that's quite a leap.
Impulse: Do I
look like I'm afraid of chickens.
Wisdom: No, you
don't.
Impulse: There
you go.
[End]
Scene II –
“Mambo”
Wisdom: Hi, I'm Wisdom.
Impulse: And I
love being Impulse.
Wisdom: Would you
love some coffee?
Impulse: I don't
know if I'm in the mood.
Wisdom: I've got
regular and decaf.
Impulse: What if
I choose the wrong one? Now I'm depressed.
Wisdom: It's just
coffee. There's nothing to be upset about.
Impulse: That's
easy for you to say. You're dead inside.
Wisdom: I'm what?
Impulse: Your
heart doesn't speak to you. Mine does.
Wisdom: Well what
does your heart say?
Impulse: It wants
me to Mambo. (He starts to do a weird
little dance, slowly turning in place.)
Wisdom: What
about the coffee?
Impulse: (His back to the audience.) Sorry, I'm too
busy Mambo-ing. (He shakes his booty.)
Wisdom: I don't
think that's the Mambo.
[End]
Scene III –
“Liability”
Wisdom: Hi, I'm Wisdom
Impulse: And I'm Impulse.
Of course. Thank you, thank you.
Wisdom: Who are
you thanking?
Impulse: The
little people. They listen to me.
Wisdom: What are
you telling them?
Impulse: Always
drink decaf. It's what I drink. It's what you drink.
Wisdom: No one
has regular coffee?
Impulse: Why
would they? If I don't think they need it, they don't need it.
Wisdom: Even
truck drivers?
Impulse:
Especially them.
Wisdom: You don't
think those big rig drivers might need to stay awake?
Impulse: I don't
see why...uh, oh.
Wisdom: Yeah, it
might be a problem.
Impulse: I'm not
liable, am I?
Wisdom: You might
be.
Impulse: I was
never here. (He slips away)
[End]
Scene IV –
“Economics”
Wisdom: Hi, I'm Wisdom.
Impulse: And not
only am I Impulse, I’m also an entrepreneur.
Wisdom: I didn't
know you started your own business!
Impulse: This
coffee fad is here to stay, so I'm getting in the game with my own brand.
Wisdom: That's
great. I'm proud of you, forging your own path in the business world.
Impulse pulls out a
small bean-sprout plant.
Impulse: Check
this out!
Wisdom: What's
that?
Impulse: This is
my bean plant. Did you know coffee comes from beans?
Wisdom: Yeah,
coffee beans. But that's not a coffee plant.
Impulse: What
kind of plant is it?
Wisdom: Lima
bean.
Impulse: So it
won't grow coffee?
Wisdom: Afraid
not.
Impulse: Ooh.
This could be a problem.
Wisdom: How many
of those did you buy?
Impulse: Ten
thousand.
Wisdom: Ouch.
Impulse: On
credit.
Wisdom: Double
ouch.
Impulse: Do you
want to buy some lima beans?
Wisdom: Sorry,
no.
Impulse: Are loan
sharks as bad as everyone says?
[End]
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Wisdom and Impulse: A Coffee Conundrum Copyright © 2013 Charles B. French. All Rights Reserved.
You may perform this script for free as long as no admission is charged
for the performance. I would love to hear about how it went, so drop me a
line – you can find the address here.
Permission is required for performances in which admission is charged,
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