Our Friend Occam
By Charles B. French
Occam's razor states that all things being equal, the simplest solution is usually correct. In debates about the existance of God, this is used quite a bit. After all, if there's no "evidence" for God, the simple conclusion is that God doesn't exist. However, as we see in this script, it's a litle more complicated than that.
Characters:
Jodie - she does not believe in God
Bob - he has many questions and a love for a certain band
Occam - never passes up the opportunity for a good debate
Jodie, and Bob are just hanging out,
talking about things. That’s it, that’s all they’re doing. What, you thought
there would be more? Nope, it’s just a gabfest. They are probably at a restaurant or even a bar. If they were in England, they'd be at a pub.
Jodie: I’m telling
you, it’s impossible.
Bob: No, you just
lack faith.
Jodie: This has
nothing to do with faith. It’s simple elementary science.
Bob: Science
doesn’t have all the answers.
Jodie: I know how
much you believe it, but it just isn’t true.
Occam enters and immediately jumps into this conversation.
Occam: What isn’t true?
Bob: Well Occam,
Jodie is of the belief that if you go swimming right after you eat, you will
not get a cramp and drown.
Jodie: It’s true.
Bob: This is a
lie.
Jodie: I’m
telling you, you’re wrong.
Bob: Are you
calling my mother a liar?
Jodie: Look, your
mother believed in it and passed in on to you, but it just isn’t true.
Bob: I don’t
believe this.
Occam: Bob, have
you ever tested this theory?
Bob: Are you
kidding? I don’t want to drown.
Occam: And
therein lies the problem. No one is willing to test the theory, and thus this
belief about cramps after eating persists, when a simple test would prove
otherwise.
Bob: Because no
one wants to drown.
Occam: What if
they wear floaties?
Bob: (about to object, then considering it)
You might have something there. But who to test it on. (He stares at Jodie.)
Jodie: Don’t look
at me; I’m just about the theory. You’ll have to find your own sucker for the
practical application.
Occam: Have you
no faith at all in what you believe?
Jodie: What’s the
point of believing? Either it is proven or not.
Occam: You know,
I could have sworn this was a conversation about God.
Bob: Well now it
is.
Jodie: Here we go
again.
Bob: Haw can you
not believe in God? He’s there. He’s everywhere. He…is.
Jodie: Because
that’s all you can tell me about this God. Where’s the evidence?
Bob: Blessed are
you who believe without seeing.
Jodie: And I’ve
got some land in Florida that would be perfect for a vacation home. Of course,
you can’t see it until after you buy it, but have some faith.
Bob: It’s not
like that.
Jodie: So you
say, but if there was such a supreme being, there would be proof. There would
be clear evidence of a supreme being.
Occam: All things
being equal, the simplest solution is always the best.
Jodie: You think
of that all by yourself Occam?
Occam: Actually, it was my
great-great uncle twice removed. He called it Occam’s Razor.
Bob: A born
merchandiser that man. Did it come with Occam’s shaving cream and Occam’s big
fluffy towel?
Occam: Only
Occam’s soap-on-a-rope, but that never caught on. The point it, a lot of
logical conundrums…
Jodie: (to Bob) That means puzzles.
Bob: I know what
it means.
Occam: They can
be solved by simply finding the simplest solution, as that tends to be correct.
Jodie: This then
should be easy. Possibility One - God exists and there is no evidence. Possibility
Two - There is no God, thus explaining the lack of evidence. Simple choice.
Occam: Except
that you are missing several of the possibilities. In order for the Razor to
work, you need to find them all. Possibility Three - There is a God and there
is evidence.
Jodie: I haven’t
seen any.
Occam:
Possibility Four - There is a God, there is evidence, but we are incapable of
seeing it. Possibility Five - There is a God, there is evidence, we are capable
of seeing it, but some choose to ignore it.
Bob: Possibility
Six - U2 is the greatest band that ever existed.
Occam: What?
Bob: Bono? The
Edge? No one is better. End of discussion.
Occam: We’ll
circle back to that. Right now, we are faced with five possibilities, not two.
Jodie: So you
actually believe there might be evidence.
Occam: People
ignore evidence all the time. Take things that are bad for you. Smoking.
Bob: Drinking.
Occam:
Overeating.
Bob: Talking on
cell phones.
Occam: What?
Bob: Cell phones.
They cause cancer. Right?
Occam: No,
they’re just annoying. Especially when you’re in the theater and one goes off
right behind you and the guy just answers it and starts talking and talking
and…
Bob: Occam?
Occam: Right,
drifted off there. My point is that evidence gets ignored all the time. It
happens, making it one of the options.
Jodie: And what
about evidence of there being no God: innocents suffering, unanswered prayer,
evil winning, horrible things happening to innocent people, and on and on and
on.
Bob: (about to respond, then considers what she
says) Yeah, what about that?
Occam: It stinks.
Jodie: That’s it?
Occam: That’s
what you get in a trial. Both sides have evidence. They make arguments and then
a jury decides.
Bob: That reminds
me, I’ve got jury duty next week and have to get out of it. Any suggestions?
Occam: Do it;
it’s your civic duty.
Jodie: Can we get
back to the original topic?
Bob: What were we
talking about again?
Jodie: God, and
all the evidence.
Occam: Right.
Ultimately, it’s your call. All I can do is give you all the options.
Jodie: And what
if you don’t like the option I choose to go with?
Occam: Simple,
I’ll tell you about it.
Bob: At great
length.
Occam: Pretty
much.
Jodie: (thinks for a moment) And why am I
friends with you again?
Occam: Simple
answer; I’m a very charming conversationalist.
Bob: I have evidence
to refute that.
Jodie: Refute all
you want. As long as he’s buying he can stick around.
Occam: (to Bob) Now back to your premise about
U2 being the greatest band ever.
They all start to leave.
Bob: Don’t even
start with me.
Occam: Have you
heard of the Beatles?
Bob: See, I knew
you were going to go there, and here’s why you’re wrong.
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Our Friend Occam Copyright © 2012 Charles B. French. All Rights Reserved.
You may perform this script for free as long as no admission is charged
for the performance. I would love to hear about how it went, so drop me a
line – you can find the address here.
Permission is required for performances in which admission is charged,
to record a performance of this script, or post any audio or video this
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